Because I Love You

Today eighteen years ago, at 5:30am EST / 2:30am PST, my father transitioned from his earthly body to the Heavens. Elza “Buddy” Cannaday became a saint and joined the other saints.  I believe Dad knew what was going to happen to his family, after he died, and he made the choice to come back to try and help us.  Some of us needed him in a special way, a way that only Dad could fill.  I believe he decided to visit me because he felt he owed me more time, and he knew I was about to make one of the most important decisions in my life. Perhaps, Dad’s arrival into Heaven went something like this: DAD’S INTERVIEW AT THE PEARLY GATES – MAYBE? Normally I could pull out a few pictures from my wallet and show you, my family.  “Ha, ha.”  I’ve never left home without any money in my pockets let alone no pockets, or pants. Now that’s funny.  My Grandkids would be asking, “Papa, where’s your pants?  How come you ain’t got on no pants? You told us never to leave home ...

Image from sarahscoop.com/symbolism-of-a-star   Good morning God. Thank you for this spectacular day! Momma Mamie says every day is her birthday. My father used to say, “This day was made for me.” I’m beginning to know what they mean. Today is a new beginning, a rebirth from our night of slumber. Today is a gift from God, to enjoy, to live spectacularly. So today is my day. Today is a day of abundance, and it does not depend upon my physical circumstances (if I feel well or not), my financial circumstances (no matter if I can pay my bills or buy things), or my family circumstances (if we are in love or out of love, near or far away, living or deceased). No matter what circumstances we have, we are loved, blessed, and living life like it’s Golden, according to singer Jill Scott; but it is!! I am celebrating my birthday on March 24; I will be sixty!!!! I love the sound of that! It sounds like I have finally arrived at an age of substance!!! I am beginning to celebrate each day, to tr...

MRI machince picture from Torrance Memorial November 10, 2023 - Afternoon of the MRI Procedure I just had a miraculous experience unexplainable by my physicians. Today I had an MRI with contrast for my neck area. I was diagnosed last year by Dr. “T” with an aneurism in a blood vessel on the right side of my neck after a CT scan with contrast. Dr. T wanted to do a follow up scan to investigate the status. My nephrologist cautioned me against having another CT with contrast to avoid potential harm to my kidneys, and Dr. T’s office suggested an MRI with a less potent contrast. My nephrologist approved. The MRI was scheduled for this morning, 11/10/23, and I had a miraculous experience.   I was told to lay flat and still. Inside the dark narrow chamber, I kept my eyes closed to reduce any anxiety or claustrophobic feelings I may have. The IV port was in my right arm, and I held the emergency buzzer in my left hand. To calm myself, I began signing, “The Lord is my Life and my Salvation....

God’s blessings come too fast for many of us to fully comprehend, and if you’re like me, you want to catch them, pause, and hold them in your hands for a detailed analysis.    I wonder if God’s blessings are like fire and light, that cannot be held and studied. Perhaps that’s for later when you reflect upon their experience. Maybe God’s blessings are like sweet air you inhale or a delicious drink you intake. The best we can do is pray for the blessing and accept it when it comes.   I received a disruptive blessing this week. My latest film produced with RIT Diversity Theater, DEAR ELEANOR, was nominated for Best Score and Best Editing at the Diversity in Cannes Film Showcase. When I received the news, I was shocked, elated! But I never dreamed I would attend the prestigious Cannes Film Festival in France where the Showcase was to take place. But then I received other messages from the Showcase with event information and requesting attendee confirmations. I began to imagin...

  Happy Mother’s Day! Me and my newest granddaughter Ellara Zoë, born 3/6/23 Humility  - to place the value of others above one’s own; a virtue, a strength; to free oneself from pride and arrogance -  especially in a world full of boasting to get ahead of others in rank, stature, and popularity (Webster’s Dictionary and Momma Tina).   Jesus humbled himself by taking on the nature of a servant, and humbling himself even to die on the cross for us, committing the ultimate act of humility - to sacrifice oneself for another.   Placing the life of another above one’s own is a transformative experience. I didn’t think I could ever do something like that, or ever want to. But that was before I became a mother. I learned that mother’s put their lives on the line for their children.   My realization came through a dream, but it was real to me at the time. It was 37 years ago, and I never forgot it.    I was a first time mother to a beautiful baby boy. When...

  Thank you God, for EVERYTHING! Everything, Everywhere, When Needed! Me under the clouds, summer 2001 in the Carolinas.  Maybe they’re not glass balls, The tasks we strive to juggle and keep in the air.  Maybe they’re more like clouds,   Clouds that move left to right or East to West,  And not up and down, Never to crash to the ground or fall apart,  If we don’t catch them.    Trying to “keep up.” Our tasks, responsibilities, to do’s, are more like clouds, that do not require us to hold up. Like clouds, they move left to right or East to West. They don’t fall to the ground and crash. Our lives are more precious than the clouds, and the things that are most important in our lives are supported with or without our constant care if we ask God to provide.    Your blessings are like boomerangs, they will come back to you; perhaps different, but they are your blessings nonetheless. So don’t waste time worrying and trying to become a bett...

2023 Saturday March 25   Good morning God! Thank you for today. Thank you God for my birthday yesterday!   I’ve completed 59 years of life! And what have I learned? That love is patient, Love is kind, Love seeks good. Love does not boast, envy, or seek revenge. Love is always ready for reconciliation. Love is demonstrated. Love refuels. Love heals the deepest and longest lasting wounds. Love is wonderful! Being in love - being loved and loving, is like going to Disney World and told you never have to leave; all of the rides are free and accessible! I’ve learned that Love is you, Love is me, Love is us, Love is  all a we !   Love is God. God is in us and we are in God. We are God’s love! Photos from special moments during my birthday month. Noticing spring flowers with my grandson Making new memories with long time friends-family Sharing joy with the mother of the bride at her daughter's wedding Sharing my birthday wih my Love Visiting our godson in the hospital and c...

Good morning God! Thank you for today! Thank you for yesterday! Thank you for answering all of my prayers and the ones unspoken - the desires requested in my heart that you also answered. Thank you for JOY this morning! Last night I rested. I let go and feel deep within your love, grace, and power and fell asleep. It was a feeling that I would be fine no matter what happened. The feeling reminded me of Martin Luther King’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech when he said, "I am not afraid... I am not fearing any man."   For many of us there is a perpetual fear, a feeling that someone is always out to get you when you’re a person whose outward identity is negatively targeted by others. There’s a feeling of a dark cloud diminishing your family’s joy when a close family member is chronically abusive. There’s a feeling of perpetual loss, of seeking and wanting to be found, when you’re separated from your mother or father at a young age. And there’s a constant fear associated with hidi...

A portrait of Tyre Nichols is displayed at a memorial service for him on Jan. 17 in Memphis, Tenn. NPR website 1/28/23 I love writing about joy, I love writing about love, but sometimes I must write about hate. Why? Because it’s with us, and every now and then it raises it’s evil head and shines upon us. I began writing this in my journal 1/28/23, Saturday morning around 6:00AM. The news report of Mr. Tyre Nichols’ killing and video footage released the day before was most disturbing. It left me, and the world, grappling to understand how this happened. I wrote ten pages by hand about my thoughts, and spent the next week, typing them into my computer and trying to organize them more efficiently. I ended up with a five page sort of essay exploring group behaviors. It’s organized by my earliest memories of being seen by others in  When a Baby Smiles , behaviors of bullies and victims in school in  The Lure of Excitement , understanding group behaviors in Mob Mentality  and...