Because I Love You

A portrait of Tyre Nichols is displayed at a memorial service for him on Jan. 17 in Memphis, Tenn. NPR website 1/28/23 I love writing about joy, I love writing about love, but sometimes I must write about hate. Why? Because it’s with us, and every now and then it raises it’s evil head and shines upon us. I began writing this in my journal 1/28/23, Saturday morning around 6:00AM. The news report of Mr. Tyre Nichols’ killing and video footage released the day before was most disturbing. It left me, and the world, grappling to understand how this happened. I wrote ten pages by hand about my thoughts, and spent the next week, typing them into my computer and trying to organize them more efficiently. I ended up with a five page sort of essay exploring group behaviors. It’s organized by my earliest memories of being seen by others in  When a Baby Smiles , behaviors of bullies and victims in school in  The Lure of Excitement , understanding group behaviors in Mob Mentality  and...

Mrs. Carol Crooms, The Carol L. Crooms Center, Utica, NY Oracle:  a person or thing regarded as an infallible authority or guide on something.   For our lady of wisdom, love, and light. The woman who dishes out loving food and wisdom, from her home, something she had been doing all her life, but on Sunday October 26, 2003, Mrs. Carol Crooms became The Oracle for my son Cannaday and his college roommate Sam. My daughter Ana and I were in town from Rochester for Pratt at Munson Williams Proctor’s family weekend, and Mrs. Crooms, my dear friend Kim’s mom, had invited us for dinner. I don’t remember the meal but I remember the “dessert”- sitting in Mrs. Crooms’ kitchen, the young men eating at the table with Ana, as Mrs. Crooms lovingly “preached.” She spoke many words of wisdom to them as she served extra helpings on their plates. The young people were quiet, either because their mouths were too full or their ears and minds were too full trying to comprehend the wisdom she was te...

“Gone were the weak knees and legs getting ready to crumble, restored were my strong runner legs, dancer body, doing what I do best: rejoice, dance, run, hop, skip and jump. It was hallelujah time! It was praising God time! Between 7-8am EST Tuesday May 19, 2020, I texted Reggie asking how the day had gone, knowing it was about 8-9pm in Japan. His reply, “Mom and baby are stable and doing fine. I’m fine too,” was a normal reply regarding updates on his wife’s condition, our daughter Ana. On Sunday, Reggie told us Ana was in the US Naval Hospital in Okinawa Japan due to early dilation (3cm), our prayers were for her to go full term; she was in her sixth month. When I spoke with Ana Monday night EST/Tuesday morning JPN, she expected to be discharged that day or the next but all was well; but the next information I read in Reggie’s text took my breath away: Hensley Courtland Thomas born Tuesday May 19 Time: 1613 or 4:13PM JPN, 3:13AM EST Length: 13.8 inches Weight: 2lbs 5ozs Gestation: 26...

YES! Thank you! Amen! A conviction for all 3 men responsible for the death of Ahmaud Arbery is a victory and a tragedy. A victory for seeing black people as people whose lives matter, and a tragedy for the lives lost to murder and imprisonment. Healing can begin for Ahmaud's family and the families of the McMichaels and the Bryans. Amen! Ashé! We apologize Mr. Arbery for not seeing you in your fullness and potential when you were among the living. Most of us only saw you in your death. Let's open our eyes, so they are as beautiful as yours, and SEE EVERYONE. Amen! Ashé! https://www.cnn.com/us/live-news/ahmaud-arbery-killing-trial-verdict-watch-11-24-21/index.html

State Prosecutor Linda Dunikoski, CBS news photo As we prepare for the outcome of the case against the men responsible for killing 25-year old Ahmaud Arbery, I wonder what type of jury is present. Is it a jury of their peers that only reflects their deranged or misguided beliefs, or a jury of their peers that represents the best of humanity, the better parts of these three men, who communicate to the defendants what they did was wrong, and they could do better? The fact that Ahmaud fought back against his assailants has no bearing on their innocence for causing his death. A person being attacked is going to take action to defend themselves. Flight or fight is a natural instinctive response.  Were Ahmaud’s attackers trying to relive the days of white men harassing and killing a black person? (I worked with two women in Rochester who suffered from PTSD whenever they’re in the presence of white men in pickup trucks. They told me it was common practice for white men in pickup trucks to...

Submitted to D&C Opinion section as an Essay for online submission 11/18/21. A young woman was jogging early in the morning through a sleepy neighborhood, and a strange man began to chase her. Fearing for her life, she tried to run away but he caught her. She fought him, and she fought gallantly, scratching and punching him. The man underestimated the young woman’s strength, thinking she was an easy target, but he was wrong. The man became afraid and pulled out a gun. Fighting for her life, she tried to take his gun. He shot and killed her.  The man walked away from his planned attack with minor bruises and scratches. He showed his wounds to the authorities and explained how he feared for his life and had to shoot her. When asked, wasn’t that his plan all along, the man replied, “No, I only wanted to scare her.”  Didn't the woman have the right to defend herself, to fight for her life? What if the man wasn’t alone, what if there were three men chasing her? The young woman ...