Because I Love You

Today eighteen years ago, at 5:30am EST / 2:30am PST, my father transitioned from his earthly body to the Heavens. Elza “Buddy” Cannaday became a saint and joined the other saints.  I believe Dad knew what was going to happen to his family, after he died, and he made the choice to come back to try and help us.  Some of us needed him in a special way, a way that only Dad could fill.  I believe he decided to visit me because he felt he owed me more time, and he knew I was about to make one of the most important decisions in my life. Perhaps, Dad’s arrival into Heaven went something like this: DAD’S INTERVIEW AT THE PEARLY GATES – MAYBE? Normally I could pull out a few pictures from my wallet and show you, my family.  “Ha, ha.”  I’ve never left home without any money in my pockets let alone no pockets, or pants. Now that’s funny.  My Grandkids would be asking, “Papa, where’s your pants?  How come you ain’t got on no pants? You told us never to leave home ...

God’s blessings come too fast for many of us to fully comprehend, and if you’re like me, you want to catch them, pause, and hold them in your hands for a detailed analysis.    I wonder if God’s blessings are like fire and light, that cannot be held and studied. Perhaps that’s for later when you reflect upon their experience. Maybe God’s blessings are like sweet air you inhale or a delicious drink you intake. The best we can do is pray for the blessing and accept it when it comes.   I received a disruptive blessing this week. My latest film produced with RIT Diversity Theater, DEAR ELEANOR, was nominated for Best Score and Best Editing at the Diversity in Cannes Film Showcase. When I received the news, I was shocked, elated! But I never dreamed I would attend the prestigious Cannes Film Festival in France where the Showcase was to take place. But then I received other messages from the Showcase with event information and requesting attendee confirmations. I began to imagin...

"I'm waiting for you... I'm calling you." “Tina, I’m waiting for you… I’m calling you.”   God, please be my writing companion. Let the Holy Ghost write with me and be  my  ghost writer. Make me lie down in green pastures of comfort when I write. Free me from Fear.  Remove the spirit of Fear that wakes upon me like morning dew. Remove the spirit of Fear that follows me around like a puppy. Remove the spirit of Fear that weighs on me like a sweater, like a scarf, then like a noose. Remove the spirit of Fear that chokes my good ideas.   Give me your Holy Spirit of comfort when I write. Give me your Holy Spirit of peace when I write. Give me your Holy Spirit of truth when I write. Give me your Holy Spirit of joy when I write.   In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.  Thank you!   That’s why I write so well when I’m on vacation. That’s why my journaling began, when I wanted to peacefully reflect upon my experiences just for me. There were no audiences to please....

As my husband José and I toasted the new year at a party with old and new friends, the thought of recent news dampened my optimism for a prosperous new year. Last year ended with a somber realization the new year was going to be grim due to receiving some bad financial news. As Krik Franklin’s song “Intercession” says, “ Jesus please mention my name, see I got some bad news today…, its got me questioning my faith.” Like Kirk, I was questioning my faith too. W hen someone at the party exclaimed, “And a prosperous new decade,” I let go of my dashed hopes and embraced the optimism for the coming new decade. Maybe 2020 would be awful, but 2021, 2022... could be   good again. But that didn’t remove my grim outlook. Then the following events happened, and I was reminded that my circumstances were not defined by my financial or physical abilities; it was going to be a year of abundance anyway!   1) My girlfriend’s son and his wife had a healthy baby girl on New Year’s Day, born about...